Let’s face it, being healthy with our tainted food supply, dangerous plastics and chemicals at every turn, and confusing health information is next to impossible, not to mention expensive. Why does this have to be so hard?? In my righteous mind I rage and rage. Doing the right thing should not be so difficult or so costly.
Sometimes I just wanna be Madonna. I do not covet her zillions of dollars, rock royalty lifestyle, or smokin’ hot post kid post 40 bod except on my blue-est of days. What really turns me inside out and green all over is her assistants. Yes, her assistants. I yearn for that kind of army to tend to the logistical items that fill up my day, and take me away from the real task at hand - going to the beach every day with my boys.
Imagine an armada of anxious, adoring, energetic souls ready to attend to your every need, so you don’t have to bother, and the financial wherewithal to remove guilt and allow you to say “you know what I want, just take care of it.” I would promise not to be too overbearing or diva-esque. I swear I would. I ain’t no J. Lo. I just want someone to take care of my clothes (and my family’s clothes) from the minute they leave my body until they are back in the closet freshly washed and folded with the best, green detergent. I want someone else to take care of shopping for the best organic produce they can find, of course taking their lead from my chef who will painstakingly plan our family meals and produce a shopping list. The chef will organize the kitchen and produce beautiful, healthy, low-carb meals for me until I am done with this diet, and then some really yummy stuff for my family. And it all magically appears at the right time.
I want someone on hand to give me massages and facials and manicures whenever a knotted muscle, dry skin patch, or chipped nail appears. I want a personal trainer and yoga instructor to offer me classes when I want, all set to the most excellent music. I want someone to draw me a bath and stock the best bubble bath and personal care products ever. I want another person to be in charge of health research to make sure we are following the best safe plastic, no pesticide, minimal toxin approach in our household and our food.
What else do I want? Oh yeah, someone to go lobby strawberry preschool every week to make sure my kids get in next fall.
